Children Spotlights

A report by Shakeel Oh Neel

Monday, August 5, 200000000000002,
Traveling in space is a Happy Experiament. Altho, it aint a bit sounding like OMG, its awesome too. For everyone who loves this thing, otta be a bit more concer-ned, cuz its gonna leave soon.

Here is a letter that we recieved from Magarq, 20002, Experiamenting Inc Technologing Since 1900, Also Designing Websites, Forever, Magarq, Forever, 2002, Would like to Speak [M2EITS1ADWFMF2WLTS]...:

Dear Fellow Space Traveling Continuing Fighters,

Space Traveling will meet its end soon, according to the most popular experiance of my son being dead, because of Space Traveling. It is most un earthly, for my son, being dead, because he is VERY much alive.

I love good fights, and I look forward to this one, altho it isnt very much of a fight, cuz you ladies are nothing but:

No good pig stealing rotten great great grandfathers!

Yours Muchly, and looking forwardly, to this fight [YMALFTTF]
Charlie
Officer @ www.magarq.isfunny.com

Hot Lady Bugs are Scorching in the Beaches!


Beetles and bumblebees are bothering combers and tourists relatively this fall. The insects were last seen in the early 1970s.

'They pose quite a big threat to the life of wolves', says Dr. Bradley, the head of the Kill all Bugs in the World to Live Happily Organization. (KABITWTLHO), 'We might just lose World Domination.' 'Well...' he says after asked what world domination got to do with it. 'Nothing much.. but it sounds cool dontcha think?'

This report is in progresss, as we are currently interviewing. THANKS!

Food Fights (on Friday?)

Today, Pupils at Liver Wurst Elephantry School experianced what we call a 'Food Fight Friday'.
'It was AWESOME!! I loved it!!' Delia Brown said in her interview late Sunday afternoon. 'Don't you think I did such a good job?'
Exactly 50 people died of too much food logged in their brains, and a 100 had serious heart attacks.
'I-I-I LOST MY MAMMA!!' says Miss. Perky Pine, a cheerleader at the school. 'It's a pity! She was SUCH a good one too!' her mamma exclaimed.
Both mother and daughter agree that there should be an effort to have more food fights, so that it cleans up this society.
Meanwhile, Prince Pal is looking into this matter, and his majesty doesn't want to enclose information that his highness and the Pal Asscociation has discovered, leaving the onlookers breathless from excitement. 'We haven't found a lot yet, there isn't anything to worry about,' Prince Pal said after 20 young men died from lack of air.
As you can see, the cause of this food fight is not yet discovered, but the pupils are studying as hard as they can to discover it, while the eyes cannot see.

Prank Callz

Mizzer Maddiiiillllllyy of za mozt populayr stoor in toown, is coomplaining about zee extremeness of zee prank callz he getz. Sayz he, "... so the phone rang, and I stumbled to get it. Says the mad woman on the phone, 'HELPPP! MMEEE HOWSEEE is oon fiiireee!!!' Says I, 'Weeel we ain't the fire depertment lady.' Says she, 'Weell.. you're iiinnn iittt, yooou should know.. YOUU would get buuuurened!!' Says I, ''Cha talkin bout lady? I'm content here in mee storee I am' Says she, 'Well DOiII!! I meeent it is yooooooooour what you say.. stooorree on fireee!!' Says I, 'AIIIIIIIIIII!!'. So I rushed my shoppers off my store, only to find 'twas a prank call. Anuzzer simulayr one happened yesterday. I may haf zzoo close my stoore if you peopulz don't hurry and catch the criminuls." Weeel, I say to zis extremely znoobbish man, 'YO STORE AINT THE BEST IN TOWN, AINT!!' What weeell you sayy, hmmMHHHmmm?

Mizzer Butler GONE?

The world's richest bachelor's butler, Mizzer French, is leaving tomorrow for Santa Ana, a few short miles from here. The rich man ends up crying at this sad sad saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad fate. 'I- I- I- WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!' He says laughing and crying. 'He's gonna go! GO GO GO!! I- I- I- WAHHHH!!' We can't get so much as that from him, as he is teaching his first grade class, from which the kids, he ends up taking his all riches from. He will not say anything, so I think that our most bestest ever butler is gonna g-g-g-o-o f-f-f-f-or shure!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mississippi Flushed (or not?)

The Mississippi river is being flushed of all its water. Pedestrians have decided it to be ajeebly convenient, so as ajeeb as they are, to like ajeebly convenient flushed rivers!!!! Anyways, the car riders are extremely worried about the poor fishies, and the swimmers. 'But,' says Miss Piddeelly, 'This hmm.. how you say... ahh yes! THIS... PREDICTION? No no... hmm.. well... huge problem has hoplessly, no solution. So, I say, we have no right to be worried.' Pedestrians are rejoicing over that statement, and that they are going to win. Who knows? Maybe its not THAT hoplesss Miss Piddeelly!!!

Pop Star Found Dead

MIZZ Srpindeel was fund deeed neeer za highway. Zis waz a total unaccident, and zee hahd been brutally beetin, and leeaft tew die. Za rumorz r zat zee waz murzered cauze zee waz za mozt efficeint pop ztar evah, an her murzer waz plotted for a long time by varioz murzeres, but zay r all very dizzapointed cauze zay zint get to murzer zer, and take all her money. Zee waz killed by Muzer Paloocha, who iz at ummm whatz zee word again? yez large. Muzer Paloocha iz at large. N-e-1 who knowz where zee Muzer iz, plz tellz uz. Thankz!