The Letter

Megumi of the New Lands has just written a letter for the president of the Treasure Island, some say it's a peace treaty, but they don't really know. Why don't we find out:

Dear Mr. President,

My Name is Megumi, as you already know, and I would like to invite you to a party on Sunday. It's about Samantha Jones. She, after all, was- I mean is my Godmother after all. I mean soon-to-be-step-mother since she's gonna marry my father, Konz. Anyways, its going to be celebrating the OPINION that her death is only a rumor. We will be watching the news all night long, for recent updates, on this issue. We have fireworks, and all that we will need to celebrate after the police find SM. Jay. And we also have wailers to cry if the news is negative. Please do come. (with/without your people. it doesn't matter).

With All Due Respect,
Megumi Konz
____________________

Not a treaty after all! The crowd is going wild with rage folks. But, wait! it's an invitation to a party instead! Surely, they'll present the treaty then! Who knows?

~*~Hey guys! Thanks for welcoming me and all! I promise I'll try my best to be funny!~*~

Lily-Of-The-Valley's Big Debue

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN- I WILL NOW ANNOUNCE THE ENTERENCE OF MISS. LILY, THE NEW REPORTER OF THE NOOZLEY!!!

This, is the ladie's first famouse words:

Konnichiwa, minna-san! I'm one of Sahar/Samreen/Asiya's friends. They invited me to come here. I don't know if I'm really good at being funny.. but they said to give it a shot, so here I am!!

GIVE HER A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE! (if you dont, I'll RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR)

ZALLENTE!

News on the Weapons

Here's a little update on the latest weapons/techniques being used by the Army Nians..

*Flash into the Army Nians HQ*

Chief bold
Soldiers normal

"Are YA preePared for da next battle?!!"
Yes sir!
Have your guns?
Yes sir! *raise their guns*
Shields?
Yes sir! Not that we need them though...
Pillows?
Yes sir! We're ready for any pillow fights!!
Pepper?
Yes sir! *sneeze*
Chaat Masala?
Yes sir! *wipe their eyes and nose*

*Flash Back*

Yes thats true, Army Nians Chief has discovered that throwing Chaat Masala on the enemy can make them lose their minds. Lets see how this works out though!

P.S. Sorry For Not Reporting These Days I Completely For- *VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND- DoNT LET THEM PUT HIM IN THE DARK!* I completely forgot.!

Mr. Samuel Oliver Ursula Patrick Ivy (SOUPI) Comes Back From His Vacation

All the town is celebrating today. Why you may ask. Of course! Soupi returned from Valley Qutez! He was very sad to leave his only daughter Manoeesha, but then he decided that living with the princess was way better. "I LOVE her more, ya see.. and even her mother!!" he told reporters. We are so looking forward to have fun with him! "SOUPI RULESZ!"

Samantha Jones' Death A Rumor!!

"A Rumor A Rumor!
Samantha Jones's Death....
A Rumor! A Rumor!!!
YEHOO!"

Is what kid Samantha Jones' fans are singing these days. Yep. Thats right *ADULT* fans!! Samantha Jones' death is a simplicty and beauty of a rumor!! YEAHOO!

The adult fans of Samantha Jones, are acting... crazy, after hearing the exceptionally good news. Both Konz, and Potter (HARRY Potter) have been running to the street without their shirts, and only their white nightie boxers, and yelling happily. "HOW RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDEE!" an elderly (not to mention fat) woman sayz. And we agree. Of course, we *ALWAYS* agree with elderly, fat, women. It's the LAW!

And They Say That Samantha Jones Ruled Forever..

Historians, Physcians, Musicians, Archaeologist, Anthropologists, Geoligists, Engerneeers, and all the world is extremely sad to revel the fact that beautiful, pretiful, kindful, blissful, holyful, extremeful, goodful SMJay (Samantha Jones) has died today. She was one of the many victims in the Hackers brutal slaughtering festivity. Her fiance was a hacker's supportive. Its- its shocking and surprising that someone would do such a thing as to destroy the only beautiful light that this world had.

Deputy Harry Potter's (High School Sweetheart of SMJay) Speech:

"... I knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it! It was just too impossible to get it to our minds that our (rather mine) SMJay wouldn't listen to us! She's been living here for what- ALL HER LIFE? We've been what- HER BESTEST FRIENDS TILL THE END? But- But- people people!" He exclaims to the thundering roar of the world, "SMJay was here dealing with the most powerful evil thing in the world!! The Hacker!! Now, it is true that he hacked her mind. It is true that he is a stupid git. It's all true. But, you see, our SMJay was fighting with him! She was! Remeber her state of denial? I KNEW IT!! I KNEW ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! YOU KNEWWWWWWWWWW IT!! SMJAY DOES NOT- I REPEAT- DOES NOT LOVE KONZ! YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

We will never forget you SMJay!

WE LUV YOU SMJAY!! ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS!! ZUTTO!!! (FOREVER!)!!

The funeral will be on Moonday, where M&M is going to sing for his mumma.

Bless You SMJAY!!

The tribute to SMJay will be on Channel Never There Never Will Be on 9:00 the friday after the funeral.

The case of the Collapsed Filafil
Reported by Habni Kamal.

Yeah. so thats what happened. ya know? it was like this. i spent like TWO friggen hours preparing this YJUMMMMM Filafil.. but then.. its like OMG!!!! this is da bomb!! soooo good. it had everything in it. i poured my life, soul-- heck my exixstance in this sandwich. so this Friends re run is on. and i look up to see Joey perform a dumb blond trick. and BOOM. it falls apart. it was like in slow motion!!! i couldnt belive it. i got it in time before there were any fatalties. but it was too late. it jes didnt feel right. u know?
like it jes didnt go back to its original form. i think i stand as the accused.. cus ya know... well heres the on the realll down low.. im not supposed to be eating no filafils. see.. umm i dunno how to say this but im PAKI shhhhhhhh!!!! lets keep that on the hush hush.. umm so im still traumatized by the collapse.. they had to call 911. but allahumdullillah im under contorl .. i hyperventialted.. since u know. it was SOO shocking.

in the weeks to come:
Updates on how Habni Kamal recovers, and how she handels this loss.

SHIRRIFS Returned to Improper Functions and Numbers

HARRY POTTAH MUST NOT RETURN TO HOGWARTS!! He'll BE in graaaaaave danger!!

Harry Potter the famest criminaly wizard has announced his return (and that the title of the deputy mayor belongs to HIM). He has been at work lately, and has officially destroyed St. Harry's Institute for Incredibly Criminal Boys, because it violated his name, and prophicy, and returned the Shirriffs to their improper functions, and numbers in order for them to guard his city fiercly.

He has also taught a yung wizard Miss. Virginia Weasly, how to survive under the torment of her husband, Draco Malfoy. "OH, its EXTREMELY excellent! HOW EXTREME! I eXtReMeLy don't have bruises on my arms nowadays!! I'm EXTREMELY looking prettier! Thank you Master Potter~!!" says Ginny. "It's an honor. Really. It is. WHAT? It is!!" exclaims a very red and blushing Master Potter.

Ahh.. can it get better? or for worse?